this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
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he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
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On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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