we're blogging at a bar
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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