Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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