so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
