I can tuck mytits in my pants
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am mentally ready for anal.
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