i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
