sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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