Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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