: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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