# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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