he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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