Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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