Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
