apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
