I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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