Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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