worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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