Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
