Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
