is your mom at the bar?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
