I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you had me at cake vodka
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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