and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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