He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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