last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
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oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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