we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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