HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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