May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
