But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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