we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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