Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
