if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.