I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.