there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.