Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
