For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
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you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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