Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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