My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
