i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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