do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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