So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
