What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
