My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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