So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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