I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize