omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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