i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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