I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
