hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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