You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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