hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
