It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
