Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
