I cockslap morals
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize