I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.