This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.