and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
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Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
whose ass print is on the piano?
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Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar