hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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