We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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