I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
