a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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