try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
