hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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